Strategies to improve the relationship with siblings

Low-functioning autism

Author: Miroslava Jelínková (AUTISTIK-Prague-CZ)

Family issues. Siblings of children with autism

Having a family member with any handicap or disability is always challenging, but the unique combination of deficits associated with autism brings to the family with an autistic child a high risk of stressful situation.

Keeping the family with a child with autism takes extra effort from all members of the family. The prevention of difficult situations and painful problems comes from experience and knowledge of each member of the family. If the family has other children, it also has to pay careful attention to them. Sibling’s relationships represent the first peer relationships, probably the longest, and the most permanent in life. It is not easy for siblings to live with a brother or sister with autism, since they have different perspectives and expectations about their future lives, and they can have severe adjustment problems. Siblings of children with autism may be more at risk than siblings of children with other disabilities (Kaminsky and Dewey, 2001). Siblings of the most affected autistic children may be an extreme risk group. Non-autistic siblings find autism very hard to understand, accommodate and cope with. The child with autism inevitably takes more and more time and family resources, but he/she is not able to give anything much back. At present there is not much known about long time effects on development of siblings of autistic children. Effects could be either positive or negative. Some siblings create a brilliant attitude towards their autistic brothers or sisters. They take a lot of responsibility in the upbringing of the child with autism; they realize that suffering from autism means being an individual with a varied and complex range of difficulties. They learn that human value is not measured by IQ tests; they learn to love without reservation, without expectation of returned love. They open the gate to integration to the autistic child. On the other hand, there are siblings who feel excluded and neglected by their parents, they feel embarrassment to bring friends at home, etc. To create and cultivate the positive siblings’ relationships and a life long mutual support system is a crucial task for any family. The child with autism must be an integral part of the family and not a problem or an inconvenience. All members of the family have to know that they are valued and valuable contributors to family life. To cope successfully with the problem of having a brother or sister with autism means different things for different children. But there are some issues that are, to a certain extent, very similar in all families with a handicapped child…

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